Hacking up a lung, strange dreams and more

I am sick in bed, coughing up gelatinous green slime and wondering exactly how long this is going to last. Mysterious because I don't know how I got this. But that's a little TMI, and not what I wanted to discuss.

What I wanted to talk about was a dream I had the other night. I am not a big video gamer or anything, but I often hear my boyfriend and his brother talk about Super Smash Brothers. It's basically a fight game that stars all the major Nintendo characters such as Mario, Luigi, Link, Donkey Kong, Kirby, and others. Among them are a couple little guys from Pokemon. I am, of course, referring to Jigglypuff and Pikachu.

I don't know Pokemon, but I know that these little dude make some cute noises- all they can say is their own name when attacking. So, you get "JIGGLYPUFF!" or "PIKA-PIKA-PIKACHU!" All very cute and annoying at once!

My dream was as follows: I woke to find myself in a world that looked like a cross between NYC and the Mushroom Kingdom of Super Mario Bros. Tall buildings and lots of bizarre foliage. My body was not normal. I looked around for a reflective surface and discovered that I had taken on the shape of little Pikachu...only with my own face still intact! Weird, right? That was only the beginning.

In the distance, I could make out some familiar shapes. Mario, Luigi and Peach were in the process of beating up on my old friend, Jigglypuff. I felt that I needed to stop the pummelling of a friend, and called out, "STOP! LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Or, that's what I meant to say. All that came out of my mouth was, "Pika-piKA! Pika pika pikachu!" An unexpected turn, I must say.

So, the bullies stopped their smackdown and gave chase. I was terribly outnumbered, and hoped that Jigglypuff would come to my aid. I went up to him and begged for his help in my own weird way. He looked at me, quite puzzled and said, "Jigglypuff????" Right then, I knew I made a huge mistake. I turned my lightningbolt tail and ran. I ran my little yellow ass off. I now had the entire case of Mario Bros, Jigglypuff, and Link from the Legend of Zelda (how'd he get here?) trying to kick the shit out of me.

I tried to hide in a wooden barrel, but they found me and rolled me down a hill. I tried to climb up a skyscraper, but they found me on the roof and tried to throw me off. All the while I was screaming, "you fucking assholes! Leave me alone! Put me down, I am your friend!" but all that came out was, "Pika-pika-pi-KA! PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAACHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
PIKA-PIKAPIKA!"

It was around this time I woke up. I have no idea what this means, if anything, and I am sure that a psychiatrist would say I was pretty disturbed. Of course, this is nothing new, and I already agree that I am quite disturbed. But why the hell was I Pikachu? I don't get it.

Now, I am sitting here, coughing up a lung, trying to analyze my crazy dream and watching Monty Python's Flying Circus. Apparently, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. I have often wondered what would happen if someone DID expect the Spanish Inquisition? Also, what about the whole "Cuidado! Es Llamas!" sketch? Is it funny because it's so random? Or is it funny because the word Llama, when spoken with a crazy Spanish accent sounds funny? And furthermore, why do I care? It's gotta be the sickness. I am on too many cold remedies right now. Maybe THAT's why I had the bizarre Pikachu dream. My subconscious has taken over and I am living WITHIN the randomness that so often scares my boyfriend and my other loved ones. Apparently, if you looked inside my head, you'd see something akin to the brainwashing video used in A Clockwork Orange...or something just as disturbing.

Anyhow, I guess I had better go. I can't breathe too well right now, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition and I am about to get my ass kicked by Jigglypuff. PIKA-PIKAAAAAAAA!