new beginnings

I have been dealing with a bunch of new things in my life.  Not many of them have been funny, but I hear a few things here and there, so I'll do my best to entertain you all. 

I just joined an opera company as a resident artist, and we had a little get-together last night.  It was determined by someone much more "together" than myself that we were indeed behaving as typical singers in their natural habitat.  What I mean is that singers do several things very well: we eat, drink, sing (duh) and TALK.  The woman who noted this then said to me, "I guess everything opera singers do well involves stuff either going in or coming out of their mouths."  

It's sad, but true.  We blab - a lot.  I think opera singers might make great politicians...LOTS of hot air. 

But, to be honest, I am most looking forward to getting into this show.  I can't give a bunch of details, but it's unlike anything anyone is expecting, and the fact that we get to take it abroad excites me even more!  

I have to cut this one short as I really don't have much more, and just wanted to get my little quote in.  I have a little rant about the olympics, but I'll save it for later.  

Owwwww

You know what sucks about being a klutz?  When you fall hard, it HURTS!

Yes, I re-injured my ankle a few days ago and now I am a gimpy bunny.  Let me go back a few years and relate this story from the beginning as it's most interesting.

(insert time machine-style music here)

August 2000, Walnut Creek, CA.  I am performing in Festival Opera Walnut Creek's production of Werther (pronounced ver-TARE, NOT WERE-THUR, YOU NEANDERTHALS!) While taking my curtain call, my silk dress caught under my silk shoe and I tripped.  I ripped something in my ankle and it was a baaaaaad sprain.  I was gimped-out for a few months after that.  It sucked.  Anyway...

(insert magic time machine music again)

A few days ago, I once more slipped - this time in a hallway on the way to a voice lesson- and re-injured my temperamental foot.  I don't deal with injury well as I am a total wuss and feel very comfortable admitting this.  So, i have been a mega-bitch to almost everyone I see.  Combine this with PMS and you have the makings of a semi-psychotic lady on your hands.  So, don't be surprised if you hear of some opera singer in NYC going postal, killing her roommates (who are bugging me, but that's a whole other story) and then limping off into the night.  I AM QUASIMODO...Or, Igor..."walk this way.  No, no, THIS way."  

Being gimpy is kinda fun though.  I mean, laziness is amusing at times, plus it's kinda humid and nasty outside, so I'm not missing much there.  Really, if I weren't in pain, I'd be less bitchy.  Or maybe id be bitching about something else like global warming...who knows?

On another note, I'd like to talk about a new game I invented called "Provoke the Redhead."  It started with my boyfriend and his brother who were making fun of some crazy girl on an internet dating site.  (My boyfriend has taken a wonderfully active interest in the dating life of his little bro, and consequently, this makes for some WILDLY ENTERTAINING stories.  Apparently part of one IM went something like this:

redhead: do you like cats?

boyfriend's bro: I like dogs!

redhead: but, do you like cats?

bb: I like dogs!

redhead: don't you like cats?

I think you all see where this is going.  Anyway, this inspired me.  Anyone out there who has access to a dating site knows that 96% of the people who use them are mental, so why not make the weeding out process more fun and fuck with those who are too stupid to know that they are being fucked-with?  I call it Provoke The Redhead because the first subject just happened to be a crazy redhead...but you all can alter the name of the game as you see fit.  It's a great way to pass the time when bored, and some people on the internet are so dumb, it's kinda fun to see what you can get 'em to say!  Hee hee.

Anyway, that's all for now, kids.  I am sure I'll have more to bitch about at some point this week.  I must go find some ice for my foot and possibly some heavy drugs.  I can have me a swingin' party on a Saturday night!