Hacking up a lung, strange dreams and more

I am sick in bed, coughing up gelatinous green slime and wondering exactly how long this is going to last. Mysterious because I don't know how I got this. But that's a little TMI, and not what I wanted to discuss.

What I wanted to talk about was a dream I had the other night. I am not a big video gamer or anything, but I often hear my boyfriend and his brother talk about Super Smash Brothers. It's basically a fight game that stars all the major Nintendo characters such as Mario, Luigi, Link, Donkey Kong, Kirby, and others. Among them are a couple little guys from Pokemon. I am, of course, referring to Jigglypuff and Pikachu.

I don't know Pokemon, but I know that these little dude make some cute noises- all they can say is their own name when attacking. So, you get "JIGGLYPUFF!" or "PIKA-PIKA-PIKACHU!" All very cute and annoying at once!

My dream was as follows: I woke to find myself in a world that looked like a cross between NYC and the Mushroom Kingdom of Super Mario Bros. Tall buildings and lots of bizarre foliage. My body was not normal. I looked around for a reflective surface and discovered that I had taken on the shape of little Pikachu...only with my own face still intact! Weird, right? That was only the beginning.

In the distance, I could make out some familiar shapes. Mario, Luigi and Peach were in the process of beating up on my old friend, Jigglypuff. I felt that I needed to stop the pummelling of a friend, and called out, "STOP! LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Or, that's what I meant to say. All that came out of my mouth was, "Pika-piKA! Pika pika pikachu!" An unexpected turn, I must say.

So, the bullies stopped their smackdown and gave chase. I was terribly outnumbered, and hoped that Jigglypuff would come to my aid. I went up to him and begged for his help in my own weird way. He looked at me, quite puzzled and said, "Jigglypuff????" Right then, I knew I made a huge mistake. I turned my lightningbolt tail and ran. I ran my little yellow ass off. I now had the entire case of Mario Bros, Jigglypuff, and Link from the Legend of Zelda (how'd he get here?) trying to kick the shit out of me.

I tried to hide in a wooden barrel, but they found me and rolled me down a hill. I tried to climb up a skyscraper, but they found me on the roof and tried to throw me off. All the while I was screaming, "you fucking assholes! Leave me alone! Put me down, I am your friend!" but all that came out was, "Pika-pika-pi-KA! PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAACHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
PIKA-PIKAPIKA!"

It was around this time I woke up. I have no idea what this means, if anything, and I am sure that a psychiatrist would say I was pretty disturbed. Of course, this is nothing new, and I already agree that I am quite disturbed. But why the hell was I Pikachu? I don't get it.

Now, I am sitting here, coughing up a lung, trying to analyze my crazy dream and watching Monty Python's Flying Circus. Apparently, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. I have often wondered what would happen if someone DID expect the Spanish Inquisition? Also, what about the whole "Cuidado! Es Llamas!" sketch? Is it funny because it's so random? Or is it funny because the word Llama, when spoken with a crazy Spanish accent sounds funny? And furthermore, why do I care? It's gotta be the sickness. I am on too many cold remedies right now. Maybe THAT's why I had the bizarre Pikachu dream. My subconscious has taken over and I am living WITHIN the randomness that so often scares my boyfriend and my other loved ones. Apparently, if you looked inside my head, you'd see something akin to the brainwashing video used in A Clockwork Orange...or something just as disturbing.

Anyhow, I guess I had better go. I can't breathe too well right now, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition and I am about to get my ass kicked by Jigglypuff. PIKA-PIKAAAAAAAA!

Life is funnier than Sh*t

I remember this great line from the epic crime-drama, Once Upon a Time in America. Somebody made the comment, "Life is funnier than shit." and I am very much inclined to agree.

I was on the subway this morning, and instead of blocking everything out with my iPod, I decided to listen to the morning conversation. Most people were barely awake and they were juggling their portfolios, coffee, laptops, PDAs and everything else needed for life in corporate America. Not much going on - until I heard a woman's commentary on an article she was reading in the Post. I normally wouldn't have anything to say, as I don't read over people's shoulders, and I didn't care about the article's content itself. It was what she said that made me laugh.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?"

Why is this funny? I think it has to do with that lovable, infamous parody of the X-Men, The Juggernaut Bitch. In the little cartoon parody, for those who have never seen it, all the characters from the X-Men cartoon are being voiced by dudes who use ghetto-style slang and the like. The central character, the Juggernaut, is the most vocal and spouts various memorable phrases...one of them being the quote I gave above.

I am not gonna launch into a whole spiel about The Juggernaut or Nastradamix or anything like that. I was amused by my own amusement. A simple exclamation from forty-something woman triggered a response from me that I wasn't expecting. I guess you could chalk it up to randomness.

This randomness of which I speak seems to be all around me. I find the most bizarre things funny these days, and my immature sense of humor amplifies this by a million. For example, when my boyfriend and I were on our second date, we were in a cab and passed a sign that read, "Liquor - Now At HOOTERS!" We looked at each other and fell apart laughing. It was so wrong and yet so right all at once. I wonder if the advertising execs realized the slightly dirty connotation with the slogan. I mean, reading it out loud would be: "Lick Her - Now at HOOTERS!" I still giggle at this.

Yes, I am easily amused. I am not ashamed, but proud! I often hear weirdness on the street or subway (once someone actually said to another, "Wow! Squirrel really DOES taste like chicken!") and laugh.

I have had friends who started a quote book of random things we said to each other, and looking back, I think they might have helped my creativity. One day on this blog I will explain the "Silent YO" as taught to me by my friend Brian D. Maybe I will even explain why I randomly flash a peace sign at family members and exclaim: "BUNNY!"

At my office job (at a prominent design school) we often comment that the main waiting area is the pool of randomness because of the crazy stuff that tends to go on when we aren't busy. My boss wanted to film us all doing the electric slide and put it on YouTube for shits and giggles. We often discuss the rules of surviving a zombie movie, what NOT to wear on a first date, if wearing someone else's shoes is really that nasty, and how we all want to obtain Canadian citizenship if another Republican is elected President. It's a mix of the sublime and the ridiculous.

Yup, I am totally cracked. No, not ON CRACK (although some people might argue with that). I guess I just believe that life really IS funnier than shit.

Lost is seriously my favorite show

Ok, I am a loser...well, maybe just a big ol' geek.

I love the show Lost. I mean, ABC primetime is definitely kicking ass these days, and I have to say that the Thursday night "trifecta" of popular shows certianly snares me every time. What the hell am I gonna do all summer? Oh yeah, school.

But getting back to Lost, I am so happy to see a serial adventure show on TV that appeals to almost everyone. There's something for everybody out there. You have a couple hot guys and girls who definitely know how to kick some ass, you have people suffering spiritual crises, mental crises, and medical miracles. You have science and faith duking it out repeatedly, and also - this is what I love: Many references to great literature, philosphy, music, art, etc. I love the fact that in order to REALLY dig deep and understand the show, one has to PAY ATTENTION and take note of what the characters are reading, listening to, etc.

I have long been one of those types to say that our society is collapsing in on itself. I mean, look at all the junk news and culture we've created and promote? "Reality" TV, celebutante culture, living to an excess, and total lack of respect for everything and everyone. I think the movie Idiocracy hit the nail on the head about mediocrity and the problems of it's glorification.

Now, I know not everyone likes Lost, and I know many who get totally confused by it. But I say, don't look at the storylines or twisted plots. Look at what the show is as a whole. It is a multimedia phenomenon, and it encourages thought and excellence. It encourages people to question everything and not take anything in life for granted. This is the stuff we have been missing in the world for a while. Fantasy, yes, but it makes people use their heads!

Because of this show, I was able to sit down and finally discuss a favorite book with a friend of mine who wasn't too keen on reading for pleasure. Suffice to say that when he wanted to gain a bigger understanding of the show, he picked up The Illuminatus! Trilogy and Turn of The Screw. He was fascinated by these great works and loved their connections to the show. He became a Henry James fan after that, and I was soooo proud.

I know it's sad that we need a TV show to inspire people to read the classics, but maybe in this over-saturated media age, it's the best option.

So, YAY for Lost! I, for one, am always happy to see a half-naked Josh Holloway (he plays Sawyer, people) running around looking all hot and manly. Hee hee. I hope the JJ Abrams treatment of Star Trek keeps up the high level we've come to expect from his group. Hey, it's cuz of that dude that I even want to see the damn movie in the first place!

Good Stupidity vs. Bad Stupidity

As a pop culture junkie, I am always amazed with the crap that we seem to come up with as a society. I am from the MTV generation. The channel is as old as I am, and I hate what it has become. Remember when MTV was all about MUSIC? I know, this is an old argument, but bear with me - there's something much bigger here. MTV and rock music in general went from being about rebellion and the influence of youth culture to being about marketing and dictating youth culture.

Example: Shows like Headbanger's Ball and Liquid Television. These shows were very important to many of us who wanted to know what was going on in the underground rock music and art scenes. Not only were these shows fun to watch, but they actually meant something. Liquid TV was a showcase for indie animation, and Headbanger's ball introduced me to a high level of hard rock. These are just two of a multitude of shows that entertained us and made us dig a little deeper when it came to finding the "cool factor."
Then they had to ruin it all with The Real World.

Reality TV is not real, and I think many people know this. What angers me is what it always seems to glorify. Look at the behavior of these people. All they do is drink too much and complain about shit. They aren't even real people anymore. They all follow an archetype. One is always loveably ignorant, one's a pretty-boy player, one has substance abuse problems, one is gay, and so on. Notice how after the San Francisco season, you never saw any real activists or professional types? Instead, you saw a bunch of people who are looking for instant fame and free drinks. This is the Bad Stupidity in the world.

Of course, the Bad Stupidity (or BS as I'll call it from now on - not to be confused with B.S. which I will say is BULL SHIT) didn't end with The (un)Real World. Oh no. Jackass began. A bunch of stoned slackers making millions by doing dumbass shit like stapling things to themselves or defecating in a retail store. I have to say, I was amused by the first episode. With clips of Wee Man doing skateboard tricks while dressed as an Oompa-Loompa, and the Urban Kayaking segment, I thought that there might be hope. These were funny, lighthearted and creative moments that were steadily disappearing from the network. Why is it that people would rather see someone get kicked in the junk or watch a public meltdown of a celebutante than watch a genuinely creative music video or show about people who are making a difference in the world.

See, the Good Stupidity is based on genuinely funny stuff. Schtick. You know, like movie quotes, silly cartoons, iconic songs, etc. This is GS because it actually takes brains to understand it - not to mention create the stuff in the first place. BS is the opposite because it relies on pre-fab shock tactics with no creativity whatsoever. Just people acting like morons and crazies. I think its all about the public spectacle with BS and nothing more. BS is bad because it lowers the bar. It makes idiotic behavior a cause for celebrity. It makes the average joe schmo out there think that this type of behavior is enough to make him filthy stinking rich or famous.

I think that my biggest complaint is that people just don't think anymore. Why is it that there have only been two honestly funny movies released in the last year? Juno and Knocked Up. Why aren't there more clever film makers out there and screenwriters like Judd Apatow and Diablo Cody? I know that these people exist, so why don't they get a break? Why is it that The Hills is a hit show? Why did every animation studio throw 2-D features out the window when Pixar became successful? I think it's because people have been conditioned to accept certain things in the world instead of striving for excellence. No one tries anymore! Or, if they are trying, people aren't getting recognition. This is why I say to all of you out there: Read as many books as you can that AREN'T graphic novels, search for indie musicians and support them in your town, look to the great movies and shows of the past. I think it's sick that many people refuse to watch a movie that was made before 1975 specifically because it's "old." If we are ever gonna make something of ourselves, we have to actually use our brain cells! WHAT A CONCEPT!

So, my dears, I close with this. Embrace the GS because it's awesome and individuality is a good thing. Cut the BS from your life and strive for greatness...in whatever you want. Greatness in ANYTHING. If you're a security guard, be the best one on your staff. If you wash dishes, be the most efficient. If you're in sales, be the one that everyone wants to work with. Just TRY for some kind of excellence! It doesn't matter what you do, as long as you know that you have a brain to use. NO MORE BS. At the same time, don't take yourself too seriously either. The art of life is to mix the serious with the silly.

I totally didn't want this to turn into a bitching session, so I'll end this rant with something less-soapbox-y.
Close your eyes and recall a time when you were most happy. Recall what made you smile and remember why. I am doing it right now and I see a group of teenagers sitting around a table. We're laughing. One person in the group is shaking his head and giggling. He speaks: "I swear! I won't eat eggs anymore...They're liquid chicken!"

Celebrate randomness, ok? Not Faux-Reality, but ACTUAL REALITY...WOO HOOO!

Poppin' the blog cherry

Oh wow, man. I have joined the "blogosphere" and I am so freaking cool now!

Seriously, I figured I'd give this a try. I have had blogs before, but they always seemed to fall by the wayside, and no one read them anyway. I have vowed that this will be different, and I hope to God someone reads this.

So, what is this gonna be about? The real question is what ISN'T this gonna be about? As a writer and musician, I tend to observe everything and will comment about it freely. For example, a few months ago, while on the subway, I heard some dude say to his lady friend, "ohmigod, squirrel DOES taste like chicken!"
I celebrate randomness like this and also scorn stupidity. I guess I'll be using this as a means to do both. I might even indulge in a little shameless self-promotion if I feel so inclined.

I suppose my next post will be more in the format I desire, as this is shaping up to be a welcome mat...so Wilkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome, Come on In...I love a good Lili Von Stupp quote to get the party started...